How to Rank on Google (Without Losing Your Mind) 🧠💻

Let’s be honest for a sec.

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Ranking on Google feels like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube… blindfolded… during an earthquake. One minute you think you’ve got it — you posted your blog, it’s helpful, full of keywords — but crickets. Nothing. Nada. 👀

So, what gives?

Truth is, Google’s not just ranking content — it’s ranking quality, structure, user experience, authority, and a bunch of other secret ingredients sprinkled in its algorithm soup. But here’s the deal — it’s not impossible to figure out.

I’m breaking it all down for you, step by step. Whether you’re a new blogger or you’ve been grinding for a while, this is the messy, real guide to actually rank your blog posts on Google in 2025 and beyond.

Let’s roll. 🔥

Start with Keyword Research (Nope, You Can’t Skip This) 🔍

Before you write a single word, you gotta know what people are searching for.

What’s a keyword, anyway?

A keyword is just what someone types into Google.
Like “how to lose belly fat,” or “blogging tips for beginners,” or even “best air fryer for college dorms.”

Your blog won’t rank if it’s targeting keywords no one is looking for… or ones that are super competitive.

Tools you can use (even as a beginner):

Google Suggest (just type a phrase and see what pops up)
Ubersuggest (has a free version that’s beginner-friendly)
AnswerThePublic (shows what people are asking)
Keywords Everywhere (browser extension that shows volume right in search)

Pick low-hanging fruit 🍌

As a new or smaller blog, don’t aim for keywords like “SEO” or “best laptops” — those are ultra competitive.
Go for long-tail keywords like “how to start a blog in 2025 for free” or “affordable travel backpacks under $50.”

Less competition. Higher chance of ranking.

Your Blog Post Title = Click Magnet 🎯

Google doesn’t just care if your post exists.
It cares if people are actually clicking it.

Your title has to:

Include the keyword
Be interesting
Make people curious

💡 Example:
Instead of: How to Start a Blog
Try: How to Start a Blog in 2025 (Even If You’re Broke and Clueless)

It hits the keyword and tells a story.

Write Like a Real Human (Not a Wikipedia Robot) 🧍‍♀️🧍

This is where most blogs mess up.

They stuff keywords in like Thanksgiving stuffing, write in stiff academic language, and end up sounding like AI wrote it in 2013.

Google’s smarter now. It uses something called Natural Language Processing (yeah, big word alert) — which just means it can tell when your content sounds robotic.

Here’s how to NOT sound like a bot:

Write like you’re explaining it to a friend
Add jokes, analogies, or little side comments (yes, even rambling works)
Use contractions — it’s, you’re, they’ll, etc.
Sprinkle in emojis or emphasis to show real tone

This is why I keep my tone casual — it feels human. And guess what? Google LOVES human.

Use Headers — But Keep ‘Em Messy 💥

Google crawls your content based on structure.
Headers (like H2, H3, etc.) tell it what the post is about.

But don’t just use boring corporate ones.

Here’s what I mean:

Instead of:

H2: Introduction to Keyword Research

Try:

H2: Start with Keyword Research (Nope, You Can’t Skip This)

It’s still a header. Still optimized.
But it feels real, like a person wrote it — not a textbook.

And yes, break up your content with:

bullet points
bold text
short paragraphs (seriously, 2-3 lines max)

Make it easy on the eyes. No one wants to read a wall of words.

Add Internal Links Like You’re Making a Web 🕸️

You know what Google really loves?

When your blog posts connect to each other.
This shows you’re an expert, and it keeps people on your site longer.

📌 For example:
If you wrote about how to start a blog, link to your post about how to choose a blog theme or best blog niches for beginners.

This is called internal linking, and it’s a game changer.

💡 Bonus: use descriptive anchor text.
Don’t just say “click here.” Say something like:
“Check out this full guide on how to make money from low traffic blogs.”

Use Images (Google Likes Pretty Things Too) 📸

Every blog post should have:

A featured image (for social shares and visual appeal)
Screenshots (especially in tutorials)
Infographics or charts (optional, but powerful)

Use tools like:

Canva (free and easy)
Snagit (for clean screenshots)
Google Charts or Flourish (for data)

Also, don’t forget image SEO:

Rename your image files (ex: how-to-rank-google.png)
Add alt text (Google reads it to understand the image)

Make It FAST (Because Slow Blogs Don’t Rank) 🚀

Google uses page speed as a ranking factor.
If your blog loads slower than grandma’s dial-up… no bueno.

Use tools like:

PageSpeed Insights
GTmetrix
WP Rocket or LiteSpeed Cache (for WordPress users)

Also:

Compress your images (TinyPNG or ShortPixel)
Avoid too many plugins
Use a lightweight theme (hello, Astra or GeneratePress)

Speed matters. Don’t skip this.

Mobile-Friendly or Bust 📱

Most people are reading blogs on their phone while eating lunch or sitting on the toilet (let’s be real 😂)

So if your blog isn’t mobile-optimized, Google’s going to push you down the results.

Use a responsive theme.
Test your blog on different screen sizes.
Use the Mobile-Friendly Test tool by Google.

And don’t put annoying pop-ups that block the whole screen. Please.

SEO Plugins = Your Secret Weapon 🧰

If you’re on WordPress, use tools like:

RankMath (my fav — better than Yoast IMO)
Yoast SEO
All-in-One SEO

These help with:

Meta titles/descriptions
Sitemaps
Redirects
Schema markup

They don’t magically rank your post.
But they help Google understand your post — and that’s half the battle.

Backlinks = Street Cred for Google 🔗

Imagine Google’s like high school.
Backlinks are the cool kids vouching for you.

When other websites link to your blog, it tells Google:
“Hey, this blog is trustworthy and useful.”

Ways to earn backlinks:

Guest posting
Sharing stats or original data
Creating helpful resources people want to reference
Building relationships with other bloggers

It takes time. But even one or two solid backlinks can skyrocket your ranking.

Update Old Posts (Google Likes Fresh Stuff) 🧽

You don’t have to always write new content.
Sometimes, just updating what you’ve already written does the trick.

How to do it:

Add new info or stats
Fix outdated links
Improve readability
Re-do titles or meta descriptions

Then re-submit it to Google Search Console.
Boom. You’re back in the race.

BONUS: Add FAQ Sections 📚

Google’s “People Also Ask” box? That’s gold.

If you add FAQs to the bottom of your post, you increase your chance of:

Getting featured in snippets
Answering voice search queries
Giving Google more context

Use headers like:

H3: FAQs about Ranking on Google

Then list your Q&As in plain English.

Final Thoughts (Let’s Wrap This Up, Yeah?) 🎁

Ranking on Google isn’t about tricking the algorithm.

It’s about creating real, useful, easy-to-read content that’s structured right, uses the right keywords, and offers value.

Here’s the quick rundown for my skimmers 🧠:

✅ How to Actually Rank on Google:

Do keyword research (not just guessing)
Write helpful, human content
Use headers, bullets, images
Internally link like a pro
Optimize your blog speed
Make it mobile-friendly
Use SEO plugins (RankMath FTW)
Get backlinks, even slowly
Update old content regularly

And please, don’t copy others. Google knows. Write it messy, make it helpful, add your own voice — and your blog will start moving up the ranks.

You’ve got this. 💪
No more watching your posts sit on page 10.

Let’s get you up there. First page. Top spot. 🚀

How to Rank A Blog Post on Google